Live A Life of No Regrets

Blog written on March 1, 2019 by Diane Patterson

Hi everyone.  Thank you for stopping by my blog.  I have a confession to make.  This is my first blog EVER.  So bear with me.  This is one of those things I didn’t think I would ever do. That is really what this blog is about.

 Now that you are 50-something, what are you going to try you have never tried before?

  Is there something hidden in the back of your brain, just bouncing around, wondering when you are going to let it come out to play.

It is scary..I get it.  I am where you are. I am a 54-year-old woman trying things for the first time, making mistakes, and wondering what in the world I’m getting myself into.  You know what keeps me going?

I want to live a life of NO REGRETS.

Let’s make this journey together. Me and you.  I need your encouragement and I will offer you encouragement along your path.  On this blog, I will post encouraging words, ideas for re-creating yourself or just enhancing the “you” you already are. I will include places to go that will bring peace and the ‘Power of Awe’ into your life.  Whether you are married, single or somewhere in-between, have kids at home or you are an empty-nester, wherever you are in life there is always something.  Something you want to say, do or be.

SAY IT!     DO IT!   BE IT!

Hope To Last the Whole Year Long

When you look back to a year ago at the beginning of 2020, what were your thoughts? What did you dream for in the upcoming year? Were you full of hope that the year would bring into fruition that someday dream that was hidden in your heart? Now looking back, were there dreams unpursued or pushed aside by events beyond your control? Are you disappointed because something you worked for so hard faded away? Did your heart break like never before? Where do go from here when it seems to be no where to go?

A new year is before us. What are your hopes and dreams for this year? Do you have the strength to think of the future? Are you grieving a loved one, a dream, a life of certainty, or your own inner peace? Many times our natural reaction is to hide from the sorrow so the pain can not touch us again. So we refuse to love, dream, or believe that anything good can happen to us. While stuck in this despair, we lose the most important thing…hope.

Hope is what convinces us that between the hours of December 31 and January 1st life can be good again, unrealized dreams can flourish and your heart will not stay broken forever. If the year 2020 has proved anything, it is that through the sorrow, uncertainty, and disappointments, hope is needed more than ever. Where does hope come from when all around you there is hurt, confusion , and uncertainty?

Hope comes from the fact that you are still breathing? You may of went through hell this last year but you are still here. Hope comes from knowing that because you are still here, God must have a purpose for your life. Even if your situation does not change tomorrow, next month or by next year, you can still have hope that there will be good days, you will laugh and love again, and you can still dream a someday dream.

So put last year behind you and hold on to hope to last all year long.

Celebrating What Matters

I am reposting the story I posted last year at this time because I feel that with everything that is going on this year, we all need a reminder to be thankful for what really matters:

A mother shuffles down the same hospital hall she has walked 100 times before. Her legs are so tired she can barely lift them to walk normally. She braves a smile when passing the nameless faces she recognizes but doesn’t have the energy to greet with conversation. Before “that day” a month ago , she relished the opportunity to talk to a stranger. She enjoyed getting to know a person’s story. Now the only story that runs through her mind is the memory of “that day’ when her child became ill, the sound of the ambulance siren, and the concerned faces of the emergency room nurses as they tirelessly worked to save her child’s life. In fact, nothing is like it was before “that day.” She lives in a world of IV starts, beeping monitors, tubes, and endless conversations with nurses, doctors, and specialists.

The mother enters her child’s room to see her husband sitting in the chair beside the bed staring at the frail little person in front of him as if waiting for a sign, any sign that will give them hope. Her husband who before “that day” was quick with a smile and a joke, now with tears in his eyes, folds his hands in prayer and begs for a miracle. The mother thinks about last year at this time. The last minute shopping trips to the store, getting upset at her husband for watching the football game instead of helping her set the table, her obsessive need to have everything look perfect, and even the argument she had with her sister about how long to cook the turkey. All those things seem so unimportant now. Her heart is broken. Her child is lying in a hospital bed and there isn’t anything she can do about it. All that really matters is seeing her child’s smile again.

The parents sit together in quiet conversation, hand in hand, both silently wishing they didn’t have to be there but knowing there isn’t anywhere else they want to be. As they watch their sleeping child, their hearts fill with gratitude. They are thankful for the beeping of the monitors that indicate life. They are thankful for the love of family who have cried with them, prayed with them, and encouraged them to not give up hope. They are thankful for the nurses’ and doctors’ knowledge and dedication. They are thankful for God’s strength which they rely on to make it through everyday. The thankfulness they feel this year at Thanksgiving is more heartfelt than ever before because this year they are thankful for what really matters.

This Thanksgiving celebrate life and love for it is all that really matters

Don’t Forget to Pack Your Suitcase

Restless is my soul that longs to wander

with no direction, only a prayer

The soul that longs for the adventure that is waiting somewhere

Where the desires of my heart will flourish and I am free to be

When “awe” is my heartbeat; breathless the way I breathe

Where words flow like mighty rivers running to the sea

Where the sun is my compass to a trail with no boundary

Where I am free to be who I am to be

I wrote this because this is my dream. My desire is to travel, write and live a life of purpose for God. Do you have a dream? I wrote this for those who are waiting and hoping on a dream. You feel restless. You want the dream to happen now. In your heart you know it is not time, yet you still try to make it happen. Be careful. You may not be ready to handle all that your dream will require of you.

Don’t focus so much on the dream of tomorrow and forget to live your life today. Everyday has a lesson to be learned. Every experience, whether good or bad, teaches us more about ourselves. Today’s experiences prepares us for tomorrow’s journey.

Trying to force your way to your dream before you are prepared is like going on a trip and not packing a suitcase. You get to your destination and you don’t have what you need.

So be excited for your future, dream that dream, but don’t forget to take time to pack your suitcase.

Seek Serenity

 

Are there are times when all you want is a little quiet. When the world is so loud with talk, conflict, and opinions that you think you will go crazy if you have to listen to one more minute of it. Every one telling you how you should think, how you should feel, and if you don’t agree with the noise, it gets louder.

The truth is that we don’t have to listen to any of it. It is a choice. We choose to read posts on social media. We choose to get involved in the latest gossip and controversary in our work place. We choose to listen to the negativity that permeates our television sets. We do this under the pretense of keeping ourselves informed of the events around us. If we are really honest with ourselves, there is a little part of us that finds it interesting and exciting. Beware…the price to pay is your peace. You know that inner peace that lets you know that everything is good with your soul.

Stop the insanity! Turn off the noise. No T.V. , no social media, no gossip, and no negative people. Seek serenity and solitude for just one day. Close your eyes and breathe in deeply. Talk to God. Be in touch with your body as you feel the tension in your neck and your shoulders fade away, and the ache in your back lessen. Get away from the computers and the electronics and breathe in some negative ions. Go somewhere beautiful. Be one with nature and allow the tranquility to renew your soul.

Seek serenity…it is good for the soul

Tomorrow Could Be Your Someday

The saying goes, “Watch out what you ask for.” That is what is going through my head right now. But I wouldn’t want it any other way.

In March when the whole country shut down, all of a sudden I was without a job. No where to go in the morning. No more going to bed early because I had work the next day. At first, I thought, “This is great!”. I started working on forgotten projects. I could go shopping in the middle of the day. I stayed up late at night when I wanted to. After a while though, I began to wonder if I had a purpose. What I spent months going to school for was basically shut down now. I questioned many aspects of my life. I questioned God. I would pray for direction but it seemed as though life remained stagnant.

What do you do when your path you imagined yourself going down disappears before your eyes? I read something on Facebook one day that described exactly how I felt at the time. I printed it out and taped it to my refrigerator and read it every day:

” You’ll wait. You’ll pray. You’ll question everything. But you will continue to be patient. You’ll keep waiting. And you will keep praying. And one day , when you least expect it , it will finally happen. So don’t ever stop believing. Don’t ever stop trusting. And don’t ever stop hoping. God is so ready to give you everything you’ve ever dreamed of–but you have to understand it’s on His timing, not yours.” ( not sure of the author)

Somewhere in those words I found hope. I feel that there may be someone reading this that needs to hear those words right now. You are at a point in your life where you have lost your purpose. You are waiting and praying. Yet nothing is happening. Just remember God has a purpose for you where you are right now. Maybe it has nothing to do with you. Maybe He is leading other people and setting up situations before He can lead you where He wants you to go. Someday your future will be there right in front of you.

That is what happen to me. Situations needed to be just right for my new path to open up. This path is not the path I imagined myself going down but it has brought me purpose and fulfillment. It is challenging at times but I believe God knew it was just what I needed.

So don’t give up hope….tomorrow could be your someday

Don’t Abandon Ship

This last week, my husband, Doug, and I went to one of our favorite yearly get-a-ways. The place is called Roaring Gold Camp in Pine Grove, California. Most of the four days were spent floating on the river. One day as we were lounging in our cozy, yellow inflatable, we watched a group of 10 year-old boys playing on a big rubber raft. One boy sat on the front of the raft steering the boat with a long paddle. He wore a blue cowboy style hat on his head which he called his pirate hat. The other four boys were crowded into this green-army raft participating in the pirate themed game. One of the boys in the boat yells,” Abandon Ship!” and the boys one-by-one jumped out of the boat into the chilly water. The boy who was steering the boat says, ” I can’t abandon ship , I have my hat on!”. That phase from a ten year-old starting me thinking about how life is for many of us, especially during this time.

You are paddling your boat down the river of life. The water is choppy at times. The boat gets crowded with people’s needs, job demands, financial worries, health concerns, and your boat gets harder and harder to steer. In the back of your mind you think, “Abandon Ship!”, but then you remember that you have your hat on. This hat may represent responsibility, loyalty, integrity, image, self-esteem or whatever else that keeps you from jumping in the water. You realize that if you abandon ship, your boat will be at the mercy of the river. If you were to jump out, you might ruin your hat and it will be a lot harder to get back in control of the boat once your out of the boat.

So hang in there captain! Although there are choppy waters ahead, it is better to be in the boat safe and dry then to be out of the boat treading water and going no where.

Before you abandon ship, remember your hat.

When Life Leads You Full Circle

This blog is a follow-up testimonial to a blog I wrote back on June 7, 2020 titled ” Look For the Window”. At the time of the blog in June, the world was fully immersed in the pandemic. I was not working at my prior job as a substitute instructional aide for the school district and I , like many others, was wondering what direction to take concerning a job. I was searching for options and looking for new opportunities. Through the blog, I encouraged others to not be discouraged because of a closed door and to “look for the open window” that God will provide. I wrote that blog for myself as well, because I was struggling with knowing my direction in life. Although, I have a tendency to be inpatient and want answers right away, I have learned over the years that God is faithful and provides the answers in His timing.

So in my waiting period, I kept a positive attitude and faith that there would be a window opening soon. A couple weeks ago that open window appeared. I was asked by a former employer to teach kindergarten for a private school. To be honest, at first I considered turning down the offer. I had lots of excuses of why it wouldn’t work for me, but I realized that those excuses were all based in fear. Fear of the unknown, fear of failure, and fear of change. God was opening a window and I was allowing fear to block my way. So I stepped through the window and committed to a year of teaching. As I did this, a certain excitement came over me. The fear was gone and it was replaced by a renewing of purpose. I have an opportunity to create a learning environment for children where they can feel secure, loved, and can thrive emotionally and intellectually.

So if you are in a waiting period right now, do not give up hope. In the waiting period, you will strengthen your faith and the time to consider new opportunities. Look outside the box. It is natural to feel afraid at first, but do not allow fear to be a stumbling block. Push it aside and take that first step. After you take a step of faith, if you find the fear being replaced with peace and passion, run with it. If after taking the first step, you feel apprehensive, consider where these feeling are coming from. Is it fear? Is this the right place for you? Does the work required fit with your talents, values, and passions? Either stay and test it out or look for new opportunities. Most of all, don’t get discouraged. Have faith that there is purpose for you in this world. Be willing to learn the lessons through life’s journey because you never know where the last lesson will lead you.

Life leads us in many directions: sometimes it leads us full -circle

Avoid the Pit

“Keep your thoughts positive because your thoughts become your words. Keep your words positive because your words become your behavior. Keep your behavior positive because your behavior becomes your habits. Keep your habits positive because your habits become your values. Keep your values positive because your values become your destiny.” Mahatma Gandhi

Lately in this crazy-Covid world, I find myself thinking negatively about life sometimes. I realize that when I allow those negative thoughts to dwell in my mind, I start talking negatively about everything around me. Soon my behavior changes too. I am less tolerant of people. I am bothered by the littlest things. I feel confliction in my soul because this behavior goes against my nature. This is when I have to catch myself and STOP the negativity before it becomes a habit. If I don’t stop the habit, it will change who God made me to be.

Have you ever been in a conversation with someone who constantly criticizes and speak negatively about any subject that comes up? These people not only put a negative spin on the conversation, they can put a negative spin on your mind. If you are intuitive to your mind and thoughts, you can feel the wave of heaviness taking over your mind and body. Don’t allow yourself to be pulled into someone else’s pit. This person has allowed their thoughts , words and actions to effect who they are. Negativity is a slippery slope. Once a person starts down the slope it gets harder and harder for he or she to pull themselves out.

So how do you avoid the pit? First of all, stop the slide. When you feel like you are getting pulled in, change your thought process. Begin thinking of positive things to say. Change the mood of the conversation from one of doom and gloom to one from a happier perspective. Try to help the person out of the pit by changing the subject. Sometimes people don’t realize that they have allowed so much negativity in the conversation until someone illuminates it with positivity. If the person wants to continue in a negative tone, politely excuse yourself. It is your responsibility to guard your mind from destructive thoughts that want to create chaos in your life. Surround yourself with people of integrity and honor. Participate in conversations that inspire you. Be with people who lift up others instead of talking negatively about them behind their back. Just know, that if a person is talking negatively about someone to you, he or she is probably talking negatively to other people about you. These people become known as gossipers and “downers”. Sadly, their behavior has become their destiny.

Think thoughts that make you smile and conversations that bring joy.

Avoid the pit.

” Finally brethren, whatsoever is true, whatsoever is noble, whatsoever is right, whatsoever is pure, whatsoever is lovely, whatever is admirable, if anything is excellent and praiseworthy think on these things. Philippians 4:8

Legacy of Love

Have you ever met a person who radiates love and kindness? When you are in this person’s presence he or she makes you feel loved. Are you that type of person? Do people feel comfortable and cared for in your presence? Or do people feel that they have to tip-toe around your feelings? Do people feel as though they have to say and do the right thing to avoid your wrath or judgement?

People gravitate toward people who make them feel good about themselves. People want to be like people that build them up emotionally and mentally. How about your children? Did you raise or are you raising kind and empathetic children? Are your children looked up to because of their integrity and generous hearts? Do your actions encourage positive traits or is your influence negative, judgmental, prejudice or selfish? Whether you like it or not , you are a role model to your children and those around you. Choose today to be a model of love, understanding, kindness, and tolerance.

What kind of legacy do you want to leave? Do you want to leave a legacy of hate or a legacy of love? Will you be remembered for kindness or for your pettiness? Your legacy begins now, don’t waste this time to be a positive influence in the lives around you.

This blog is dedicated to my Aunt Charmaine, although she is no longer with us physically, her legacy of love lives on in all who were touched and influenced by her beautiful life.

Let Them Go

Throughout our lives we will have many relationships with people. Some of these relationships are like candles in the wind. They are strong at first, keeping us warm in friendship , and helping to light our way, but after awhile the relationship burns out. I can think of many people in my life who, at the time, were a constant source of encouragement, joy and friendship, but for a variety of reasons, we went our own way and lost contact. Our lives intertwined for only a fraction but those relationships had an influence in who I am today.

What do you do, or feel when someone wants to leave a relationship with you? Natural feelings of betrayal, hurt, confusion, and maybe even guilt come flooding through your mind. Questions of why? Questions of what did I do and how can I resolve this situation? Honestly examine the relationship. Were you an honest, fair, and loving partner in this relationship? If so, let that person go. There is nothing more you can do. There is no use in beating yourself up with guilt. Sometimes people feel drawn toward another path in life and we must allow them to explore other options. The saying, ” If you love someone let them go, if they come back, they are yours; if they don’t, they never were, ” makes a good point but letting go can hurt. What do you do with the hurt of letting go? You remember the good times, you mourn the unshared moments, cry a little or a lot, and then you keep going down your own path. Be true to who you are and to your own goals in life.

I believe that people are in our lives sometimes for only a season. Throughout that season, we learn from them, gain strength from them, experience joy with them, cry with them, and , yes, sometimes even fall in love. Some seasons are longer than others but if it comes to an end , look back with no regrets. Realize that just like you, that person has a their own path to travel. Be thankful for your journey together and let them go.

But the Lord says,” Do not cling to events of the past or what happened long ago. Watch for the new thing I am going to do. It is happening already-you can see it now! I will make a road through the wilderness and give you streams of water there. Isaiah 43:18-19